I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
