he shaved USA in his pubs
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
