I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
