so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
organizing the empties. That sober.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
