it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize