If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
