we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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