I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
