Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
