i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
