Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
