Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize