Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
