community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
