so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
