hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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