What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
