But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize