So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
