so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
