so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
