Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
