I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize