Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
