Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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