I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
