I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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