it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
