Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
