im having a threesome with these popsicles
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just invented taco cereal.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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