I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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