Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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