I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
