I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
