i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize