My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
