Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
