This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This is my gift to your gina
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize