You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
