We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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