you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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