I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
