just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
