i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
