I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
this will be a night to untag.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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