if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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