Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
