oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
