At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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