You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
