Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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