i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
