maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
