It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
