Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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