My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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