Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize