I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
