I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
