My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
