Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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