So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
